oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
