I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
