she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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