I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
