omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
