every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
