Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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