Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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