If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
