drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
