I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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