You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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