he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
