After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
