I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
