Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
