He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
