Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
