As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
