Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
