matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
