apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
