The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
