I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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