I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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