Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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