Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Blood and glitter go together right?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
