with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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