yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Mom said you looked used
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
