you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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