theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
