Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
