WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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