I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
