Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We're too hungover to prance.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
