glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
