He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
