so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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