After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
