guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
