Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
