singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
