someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
