My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
