I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
