i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
