so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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