If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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