I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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