I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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