My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
